Kill first, ask questions later

I woke up in the middle of the night with something tickling my face next to my nose.  I woke up more when my finger didn’t land on my face, but on something that was on my face. I immediately squished it and turned on the light. Black blood dripped down from my face onto the bed sheet. Now the adrenaline is coursing through me.  Next to the black blood falls the remains of a black spider, a pile of insect legs. As I am still trying to comprehend the scene, I notice the spider guts on my face are starting to tingle and sting. I stumbled into the bathroom and scrubed my face.   At this point I’m more awake than I want be and know it will be at least a couple of hours before I’ll get back to sleep.

Now the questions.  What species of spider were you and what were you doing on my face?  Fortunately, I wasn’t bitten.  I pulled out a magnifying glass and looked at the remains. Thick stout legs.  Maybe a jumping spider. Not a black widow, which has long, spindly legs. Not another spider that I’ve known to bite, which is more gray.  Then the sci-fi part of my mind takes over.  Were you trying to mind meld with me?

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